Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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