Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
