Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
