yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I looked at my own cervix.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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