no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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