so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
