I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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