She's JV to your varsity
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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