Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
barbara walters just said penis...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
