He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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