btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
