Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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