So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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