used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
