we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
