DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
