he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize