well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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