youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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