Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
