you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
