I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
