bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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