is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
