Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
