I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
