yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
And then he peed in my hair
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