fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
