P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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