yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
