Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
