I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
