my shit smells like andre
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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