You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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