No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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