so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
