i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
