I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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