I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
