I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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