Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ladies don't puke and tell
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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