carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
