Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
