he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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