okay pat passed out under dana's car
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
