I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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