i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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