i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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