Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
