No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
